


Knowing the Cost

by de_Duchess



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Felicity Smoak & Oliver Queen & John Diggle friendship, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Romance if you squint, Team, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-04 16:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/de_Duchess/pseuds/de_Duchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a price to pay for what they do. Felicity has always known that the day would come, when that price would be too much for her. When the cost would be too much to bear. She just didn't expect the day that she would stop to care…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

  **Chapter One**   


 

Felicity kept a list.  It was on a plain A4 paper that she’d snatched out of her printer months ago.  She’d drawn a line down the middle and started a tally. Four short vertical lines and then a fifth drawn diagonally through them. Over and over again.  So she could never lose count. 

She wasn’t sure when it would be too much.  There was a line she’d sworn to herself she wouldn’t cross. On the day she shook hands with Oliver, the day she joined his team. That was over a year ago. Sixteen months, two weeks and three days.  Yes, she’d kept count.  She’d always keep count. Because that line she’d drawn for herself had blurred.  The black and white world she’d lived in so comfortably had become awash with grey.

And today marked a change.  The list mocked her.  Every line had been drawn in black ink. Just a normal generic black pen, to keep track of all the people that died on this crusade. All the people that had been killed by the Hood, the Arrow, whatever the papers were calling him these days.  She called him Oliver.  She knew the truth.  She helped him.  All the notches, her tally, it wasn’t just a number. They were people and now they were dead.

On the left of the line were all the people that he’d fought. People that got in his way. The lackey’s, the hired guns, the bodyguards.  They were people he killed in self-defense.  Not that that ever made it easier for her to add another notch. On the right were the people from the notebook – from Oliver’s list.

The left far exceeded the right, she was almost at the bottom.  She’d wondered when she would stop, when she would walk away from this. Would it be when she had to turn the page and start marking the dead on the back as well?  When the right past the halfway mark?  She’d mulled over that question every time a mission went bad and she was forced to pull out her list. To add another victim of their crusade.  It had been happening less and less lately.  The last time almost five months ago (four months, three weeks, four days).

Felicity’s hand shook as she reached out to grab a pen from her desk. She passed the black pen and took the red one instead, moving it to hover over the left side of the page. Three lines were added, standing out in stark relief on the paper. Clearly visible against the white and easily distinguished from the black lines. 

Yes, today marked a change. Three people were dead.  And her only thought at the time had been: _‘good’_. 

Felicity lowered the paper back onto her desk and leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling of her apartment.  She wasn’t a vengeful person.  She didn’t condone killing.  _There used to be a line she wouldn’t cross._   She frowned.  Adding a notch to her list used to hurt. Knowing someone was dead and that she’d contributed to it, used to leave her feeling sick to her stomach.  Now there was nothing. 

She straightened and ran her hands through her hair, wincing at the tangles. There was no point in staying here, she decided. There was no point in wallowing at her lost innocence.  No rest for the wicked and all that.  There was work to be done.  As she checked her purse and grabbed her coat she tried not to think, not to remember.  Her cellphone however showed another missed call - John Diggle - and she stared down at it for a long moment.  The last time she’d answered his call had been three days ago.  Three days ago, before everything –pardon her French -  went completely to _shit_.

* * *

She’d been at work, trying to figure out why everyone in legal had lost all their sent and received emails from the past 24 hours when her phone rang.  She’d been distracted and only answered on the third ring, “Hey Diggle, what do you need?”

“You need to come in.” He replied. “Right now.”

Felicity frowned. “Okay,” she said slowly, “usually Oliver is the one skipping over pleasantries and well, manners.”

“Felicity,” his voice was strained, “we have a situation.”

Felicity’s frown deepened. “A first aid kit kind of situation?” she asked, already beginning to save her work.

“Not at the moment.” Diggle answered. “But this is gonna get ugly and-” he cut off abruptly and she could hear Oliver in the background, demanding the phone.  “No.” Diggle snapped, voice muffled, clearly not addressing her, “she’s coming, calm down.”

Felicity propped the phone between her ear and shoulder as she shut down her laptop and tablet.  “Felicity,-”

“I’m on my way.” She interrupted him. “Give me twenty minutes, Diggle.”

“Okay.” He answered and hung up.  

She’d been worried.  She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but Oliver was violently beating up his training pole and she winced as she descended the stairs. 

“Okay,” she said as she shrugged off her coat, “I’m here, what’s going on?” She automatically made her way to the computers and glanced at Diggle, but he was on the phone and distractedly pointed at Oliver.

Oliver moved out of his workout space and stalked over to her, his face frustrated and angry.  Felicity felt her pulse quicken. It had been a long time since she’d seen him like this.

Something must’ve shown on her face because he paused to grab a towel and took a breath as he wiped his face.  She could see him make the effort to calm down and reign his anger in.

“Thanks Roy.”

Felicity’s head snapped to the side as Diggle hung up. “Roy?” she questioned in surprise.

“We need him.” Oliver answered for him. “Is he coming?” he asked Diggle.

Diggle nodded. “Yeah, he’ll come in when it’s time.”

Felicity turned back to Oliver.  “Time for what? What’s going on?” she asked. “Why do we need Roy?”

Oliver regarded her, his jaw clenched tightly despite his efforts. “We have a lead on Walter.”

Felicity stared at him. “He’s alive?” she asked, and she could hear the crack in her voice. Hear the fear and the hope.  Nineteen months and five days was a long time to be missing.  A long time to be at the mercy of whoever had abducted him.

The look Oliver gave her was grim. “He’s alive.” He replied. 

 _'He might be wishing he wasn’t’._ Is what he didn’t say.  But his eyes didn’t lie and she’d learned to read between the lines a long time ago. Walter was alive, but that said nothing about his physical condition.  And his mental condition wasn’t something any of them wanted to speculate on, this long into his kidnapping. 

The silence was loud and the air pressed in around her. She swallowed.  “What do you need me to do?” she asked.

Oliver waved her over to the computers and for the first time she noticed the laptop hooked up the system.  “I took that on last night’s mission.” He said. “We got through the basic encryption an hour ago and found the information on Walter.  They were communicating with whoever has him. We need you to trace it back to the abductors.”

Felicity nodded as she sat down. “What happens when I trace it and can get a location?” she asked.

“We go and get Walter.” Oliver bit out.

Felicity rolled her eyes.  Of course that would be the extent of his plan. Well at least he was trying to prepare for the worst it seemed. “The three of you?” Felicity asked, as she skimmed the information on the screen.

“Four.” Diggle answered. “Helena said she could be here in five hours.”

Felicity froze and turned to look at him over shoulder. “You called in Helena?” she asked sharply.

Oliver growled in frustration from her other side. “We don’t know what we’re going to be up against.” He said and she spun around completely in her chair to face them. “I’m working on the assumption that whoever has Walter, won’t let us just take him without a fight.  I know you don’t like her, but we need all the help we can get.”

“I understand that.” Felicity said. “I’m all for getting help. But Helena?! Shouldn’t we get someone we can actually trust?”

“I’m all ears!” Oliver retorted.  “But that’s not exactly a long list.”

Diggle raised his hands. “I don’t like it either.” He told her. “But we have no choice.  We can’t exactly get the police involved in this.”

Felicity scowled. _No, they couldn’t_. A SWAT team wasn’t exactly subtle; Walter could be dead before they’d even breached the premises. Not to mention they were pretty sure there was still a mole inside SCPD. And she had to admit that Helena was an excellent fighter. She’d unfortunately experienced that first hand.

“Felicity, this is too big for me to do alone.” Oliver said.  “And there just isn’t anyone else.”

Felicity spun back to face the screens. “So, I’ve got five hours to crack this then.” She stated irritably.

“Felicity-,” Oliver sighed.

“No, I get it.” She said harshly.

“No, you don’t.” Oliver said, and he moved to stand next to her. “The last thing I want is to involve Helena, or Roy, or even Diggle in this.” He shook his head as he leaned down next to her. “But they’re not just going to be holding Walter somewhere unprotected.  If I want a shot at getting him out alive, I can’t go in alone.”  His eyes bored into hers. “You’re the one that keeps telling me that.”

Felicity swallowed down her anger. It was an old argument between them. ‘ _Stop trying to do all this alone_.’ Oliver felt it was his responsibility to fix Starling City and his stubborn insistence to go at it by himself drove her and Diggle crazy.  Not that she’d disagreed with his decision not to let Roy join their team, and she was perversely glad that Helena had shot him down.  But, he needed _someone_.  Sometimes the only term to describe his latest plan was ‘suicide mission’ and she’d now completed four different first aid courses.  She couldn’t begrudge him this.

“Fine.” She said quietly. “For Walter.”

Oliver relaxed and nodded.  “For Walter.”  He said, with a wry smile.

She turned back to the screens and took a deep breath.  “I’ll need supplies.” She said.

“Coffee, energy drinks or smoothies?” Diggle asked.

“Lunch.” She declared. “Proper lunch.” She considered it for a moment.  “And smoothies for later.”

Diggle chuckled. “Burritos coming up.” 

* * *

In the end it took her under an hour to track the emails back and hack their source. It got her a name _(Danny Brickwell)_ , but not much more information or access to his files. And hacking him from the outside would take another day at least. So Oliver donned his gear, took a flash drive with her sledgehammer virus and went to break into his house.  Well, mansion.  Estate?  A huge fricking house, in any case.

The sledgehammer virus wasn’t elegant, and the person being hacked would have alerts screaming, but it was quick.  Brickwell’s hard drives were copied and uploaded to a cloud, and she spent another three hours breaking through the encryption.

By the time Helena arrived, Roy was aimlessly tossing a tennis ball as he paced, and she and Oliver were clustered in front of her screens, going over property records and eliminating possible locations. 

“Well, isn’t that cozy.” Helena remarked, as Diggle led her over to them.

Felicity bristled and Oliver placed a warning hand on her shoulder.  Right, the woman could kill her with a hand tied behind her back.  _Damn._

“Helena,” Oliver said, “thank you for coming.”

Helena narrowed her eyes at him. “This makes us even.” She said.

Oliver nodded and she smiled brightly. “Felicity,” she continued, “how are you today?”

Oliver’s hand tightened on her shoulder as she glared at Helena. “Conscious.” She bit out through clenched teeth. “Although the raging headache I’ve come to associate with you is rearing its ugly head.”

Helena chuckled. “It’s not good to hold a grudge.” she said. “It creates ulcers.”

Felicity stared at her. “Are you seriously talking about the pitfalls of holding a grudge?” she asked incredulously. “You? Queen of the grudge holders? Miss ‘I am vengeance, watch me kill’?”

Helena tsked and shook her head. “Really Oliver, why you surround yourself with so much negativity…” She trailed off.

“Oh, bite me.” Felicity snapped and Helena full out laughed.

Next to her Oliver sighed, “Felicity…” he said warningly.

“What?” she exclaimed. “I’m not the one who goes around threatening and pistol whipping people!”

Helena’s smile turned predatory. “Would you like a rematch?” she asked. “I promise not to knock you flat on your ass until at least the second swing.”

Felicity was out of her chair with a snarl as Helena laughed. Felicity didn’t make it far as Oliver reached out and grabbed her around the waist, physically hauling her back, and Diggle quickly stepped between her and Helena.

“Oh man,” Roy whispered gleefully. “Chick fight!”

“Felicity.” Oliver grunted as she struggled. “Stop. We don’t have time for this.” 

Felicity huffed angrily and stilled. Oliver waited another beat before he set her down, his hands firmly on her shoulders as he spun her around to face him. “Breathe.” He instructed her.

Felicity was shaking in anger as she glared at him and Oliver winced. “For Walter.” He reminded her quietly.

Felicity tried to relax the hands she’d balled into fists. “I make no promises.” She said.

She took a breath and turned, aware that Oliver’s hands once again settled on her shoulders and that he could probably feel her vibrating in indignation. Helena was still standing in the same spot, looking amused, even as Diggle warily glanced back and forth between them.  Roy just looked disappointed.

“Fun as this reunion is.” Helena drawled. “I believe I was recruited for a rescue mission?”

“Yes.” Oliver answered.  “We’ve narrowed it down to two possible locations.” He pushed lightly on her shoulders and Felicity stepped forward, sitting back down stiffly in her seat.

She pulled up a location on each screen as the others gathered behind her.

“The one on the left is a warehouse owned by Brickwell.  The security is pretty extensive for the building supplies his tax returns claim he’s holding there and the electricity usage is nowhere near consistent. Plus it’s isolated, at the edge of an industrial area and he’s visited it often in the last few weeks.” She gestured to the other screen. “The one on the right is an old foreclosed apartment structure on the edge of Starling City. It’s not owned by Brickwell, but he’s been sending guys over every three weeks on security detail.  No security cameras with a shot of the building, but there are a few traffic cameras leading up to turn off, and there’s regular comings and goings.”

Diggle considered the screens. “What’s our best bet?”

“The apartment structure.” Felicity and Oliver said simultaneously.

Helena snorted quietly and Felicity shot her a dirty look.

“Who owns it?” Diggle asked.

“I don’t know.” Felicity admitted. “It was part of an affordable housing project, but it went bankrupt during the recession.  It was foreclosed on by the city last year so technically they should own it, but I can’t find the records.”

“Great!” Roy said. “So, we’re taking on the empty building with the mysterious owner.”

“It’s not empty.” Oliver said severely.

“Brickwell’s security detail is twelve guys.” Felicity explained. 

Helena arched an eyebrow. “You can take on twelve guys without us.” She pointed out.

Oliver glanced at Felicity and she pulled up Brickwells records. “This is from seven months ago.” She said.

Diggle gave a low whistle. “Infra-red and heat detecting cameras, motion sensor and lasers, generators,” he read aloud. “That place is gonna be a fortress!”

“And going off the email exchange there could be more than one security detail at a time.” Felicity said.  “So, we could be looking at more than twenty guys.”

“We’ll need to do recon.” Helena said. “Points of entry, blind spots, guard rotations.”

“Not to mention figuring out where in the building Walter’s being held and the quickest and safest way to get him out.” Diggle added.

“So, road trip?” Roy asked.

“Not to be the wet blanket here.” Helena said and Felicity scoffed quietly. “But what if that’s not actually where Walter is?”

Oliver straightened. “Like you said. We’ll need to do some recon.” He said. “My stepfather might be in that building and if he is, than we are getting him out.” He glanced around at everyone.  “Gear up. The apartment structure is over an hour away. We leave in five minutes.”

“Finally.” Roy mumbled as he turned away. 

Diggle shook his head at the boy. “Come on,” he said. “We got you a suit.” He led the way to the back, Helena and Roy trailing after him. 

Felicity watched them go for a moment and then turned back to Oliver, who was looking at her with an uncomfortable expression.  

“You’re coming too.” Oliver said without preamble and Felicity stared up at him in surprise.

“I am?” she asked.

Oliver grimaced. “We know that place is going to be sealed tight, and we’re going to need you on site to process all the information from the recon. We’re going to take the head-cams, but if we end up having to split up inside, we’ll need you to coordinate. And if things go bad and we trigger the security system you won’t be able to disable it from here.” 

Felicity nodded. “All hands on deck.” She joked weekly.

Oliver inclined his head. “You’d be in the van the whole time.” he said.

“Mobile command center.” Felicity corrected him automatically and he smiled. “And I don’t mind going.” She stood up. “I’ll grab everything you guys’ll need.”

“Hey.” He pulled her up short with a hand around her wrist and she watched him as he struggled for a moment to find words to soften whatever he had to say next. “You should grab the first aid kit too.” He finally said. 

They looked at each for a long moment. “I don’t know what state Walter will be in.” he said quietly.

Felicity gave a tense nod. “The van is fully stocked, but I’ll grab some units of O-neg just in case.” She held his gaze.

Oliver returned her nod and let go of her wrist. “We’re bringing him home.” He said.

 _‘One way or another.’_ He didn’t say.  But as she watched him walk away to get changed, the words echoed loudly in her head. Yes, she’d learned to read between the lines a long time ago.

* * *

  ** _To be continued_ **


	2. Chapter Two

Felicity changed into cargo pants and a long sleeved shirt before they left. They drove the hour to the apartment complex and parked around the corner and a good distance away.  Helena pulled her motorcycle up next to the van ( _mobile command center!)_ and they regrouped to work out a plan.

Unfortunately Diggle’s prediction had been right. The building was a _damn fortress_.  
It took them nearly ten minutes to figure out a way to approach the chain link fence. 

The camera set up had Felicity swearing vehemently, whoever had put them up had known what they were doing.  There weren’t so much blind spots, as a second before another camera picked up the angle.  Roy was the smallest and did some swearing of his own as he vaulted and somersaulted his way through the grid.  He managed to place his bug on the camera though and it only took her a few minutes to hack into the feed.

Only to discover that the people who had set up the security system were _really_ smart, because they hadn’t put the internal cameras on the same network.  They still didn’t have eyes inside and this time Oliver joined her in swearing. 

Diggle winced from where he and Helena were standing outside the van, with the building plans spread out on the floor of the van in the open doorway. “We knew this wasn’t going to be easy.” He pointed out.

Helena crossed her arms. “I am not going in blind.” She declared. “You want me to help you with an insane rescue mission, where you’re not even sure if your target is still alive, let alone inside that building? Fine. But I draw the line at going in blind.”

Oliver glared at her over his shoulder. “We have the building plans.” He bit out.

“Yes, from last year when the city foreclosed. But we know they don’t own it anymore.” She gave him a pointed look. “You can do a lot in a year.”

Oliver turned back to Felicity. “Tell me you can get us eyes inside.” He said.

Felicity shook her head. “Not without hacking the internal network and I need someone inside for that. I need something I can trace back to the source.”

Roy leaned in from the front seat of the van. “What about satellites?” he asked. “Can’t we like, look through walls for heat signatures or something?”

Felicity raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a satellite you’ve been hiding from me?” she asked Oliver. 

Oliver chuckled, “Afraid not.” he said. “What do we know?”

Felicity pulled up the building on her screen. “At this point, not much.” She said. “Electric chain link fence surrounding the complex, a lot of cameras but no visible guards outside. Open courtyard structure from the fence to the building. No discernible movement inside.” She shrugged.  “It’s not much to go on.”

“It’s nothing.” Helena corrected pointedly.

Oliver growled in frustration.  “Diggle, what about you?”

Diggle gestured at the plans in front of him. “Four story building, mostly unfinished. The building has two main entrees, plus two fire exits and a basement.  According to the plans there are no inner walls on the third and fourth floor. It only has the central staircase, there are elevator shafts, but they never put them in.”

“So, the basement is our best bet.” Oliver concluded.

Diggle nodded. “They were going to put the apartment storage spaces down there. They only got half way done, but that’s still a lot of little rooms. Perfect place to keep someone.”

Helena scoffed. “The basement is also a kill box.” She said. “It only has two entrances.  One from the main hall in clear view from the staircase and one that comes up on the west side of the building in full view of three cameras.” She pointed at the plans. “If we go in one end, they’ll be waiting for us to come out the other one. And if we double back we still have to clear the courtyard, not to mention the fence.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes. “Then we take everyone out, before we extract Walter.”

Helena glared at him. “We don’t even know how many people are inside or where they’re located. We don’t even know if your stepfather is actually in that building.”

“Yeah, seriously.” Roy added. “I thought there’d be twelve guys lurking around, but we’ve seen nothing so far.”

“Hey guys?” Felicity interrupted, “I’ve got a Wi-Fi signal coming from the building.”

Oliver quickly leaned in to look over her shoulder. “Can you hack it?”

“Already working on it.” Felicity replied.

“That’s actually a good point.” Diggle said, pointing at Roy. “We have no idea what they’re using the building for. Brickwell’s emails talked about a security detail, but he only sends his guys in every three weeks.”

“Probably to deliver or pick up a shipment and guard it during transport.” Helena said.

“What kind of shipment needs twelve guys?” Roy asked.

“Drugs.” Diggle suggested. “Maybe illegal weapons.”

“More importantly, if the security detail is here for whatever they’re transporting, then why do we think Walter is here?” Helena asked. “You said Brickwell bought lasers and sensors. That’s an awful lot of security to guard one guy.”

“I don’t think it was for Walter.” Oliver said. “We know this isn’t Brickwell’s building, whatever they’re doing here, his job is to provide security. What we got off the emails is that they moved Walter here recently.”

Diggle nodded. “It looked like they’re constantly moving him.  A couple of weeks at a secure location and then on to the next.”

Roy cleared his throat. “Okay, maybe this is obvious to everyone else, but I’m the new guy, so.” He shrugged. “Is no one wondering why this guy is still alive?” he glanced around at everyone. “What’s the point of kidnapping someone and not asking for a ransom.  I mean, the guy is worth a couple of million bucks easy. Why keep him like this for months?”

Helena frowned. “Leverage.” She said as she glanced at Oliver. “Against someone else.”

Diggle winced. “That’s not a long list.” He said. “It’s pretty much just one person.” 

Oliver glared at them. “Walter was looking into dangerous things and the wrong people found out. That’s what got him abducted.”

“Ohhh.” Roy gave a low whistle. “Sensitive subject.” He muttered.

Helena rolled her eyes. “If he was looking into dangerous things they would’ve just killed him. Tortured him first maybe, to find out what he knew and if he told anyone. But there would be no point in keeping him hostage for over a year.”

Felicity froze and the distinct lack of the sound of keyboard keys being hit was immediately noticeable.

Oliver turned around and took in her rigid posture. He stepped over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey?” he said softly.

Felicity swallowed and shook her head. _Now was not the time._ There was a soft beep from her computer.

“I’m in.” She said, effectively ending the discussion.

Oliver leaned down to look over her shoulder.  “In, where exactly?” he asked.

Felicity pulled up the directories and began sifting through the files. “Don’t know yet.”

“Okay,” she heard Helena say quietly. “What was that?”

Diggle’s voice was equally soft when he answered. “If they questioned Walter to find out if he told anyone what he knew, than he didn’t break.”

“How do you know?” Helena asked.

Diggle’s voice was hard. “Because the only person he told was Felicity.”

Felicity couldn’t see Helena’s reaction to that, but she heard Diggle swing himself up into the van and step up behind her as well to look at the screens. Oliver squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and she turned her attention back to the information on the screens. 

Oliver leaned down next her ear. “He’s alive Felicity and he’s in there. We’re gonna get him out.” He said softly. 

She nodded and tried to focus. “I’ve got an inventory list.” She said, as she clicked it open.

“Sweet.” Roy said, as he squeezed through the gap in the front seats to join Oliver and Diggle. “Drugs or weapons?”

“Neither.” She said as she peered at the screen. “Art.”

“Hmm. Counterfeit art.” Oliver corrected.

“That’s…  Anticlimactic. ” Roy said.

Helena pulled herself up into the van. “Fakes of paintings and sculptures can be worth a lot of money.” She said.

Diggle frowned at the screen. “This is all being stored on the first and second floor.” He said. “We still don’t know what’s in the basement.”

“And we still don’t know where the guards are stationed either.” Helena reminded them pointedly.

“If they’re using the floors above ground for storage, then they might have three or four guys up there.  The rest will be in the basement.”  Oliver reasoned.

“That’s a guess.” Helena said irritably.

“Best we’ve got.” Oliver retorted.

“Does no one else think that this is a lot of security for some fake paintings and statues?” Roy asked. “I mean, there’s gotta be something we’re missing.”

Diggle nodded. “They’re doing something else in the basement that’s worth all the precautions.” He agreed.

Oliver considered them for a moment. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t change the plan.” He said. “Helena you clear the building above ground. Diggle and I will take the basement. Roy, you’ve got the courtyard. Anyone who isn’t us comes out, you stop them.”

“Wait.” Helena snapped. “We don’t even know how many people are in there.”

“Twenty-one.” Felicity declared, as she skimmed over the screen. “Brickwell’s twelve guys, six standard in the building and three others on undisclosed guard duty.” 

“Guard duty?” Oliver repeated. “As in Walter?”

“Maybe?” Felicity said hesitantly. “It doesn’t say. But I’ve got the roster here and it says twenty-one people, but I’ve got twenty-two MRE’s.”

“What are…?” Roy began.

“Food.” Diggle cut in. “Ready to eat food.”

Felicity highlighted a section on the screen and sat back in her chair. “Judging from the things on this inventory list, I think I can make an educated guess as to what they’re doing in the basement.”

“What?” Oliver asked as he looked at the screen. “Paper?” he asked. “For the fake paintings?”

“Oh man.” Diggle gave a wry laugh. “Please tell me green ink isn’t on that list.”

Oliver’s eyes widened as realization dawned. “They’re counterfeiting money.” He said.

“Damn,” Roy said. “That twelve guy security detail is making a lot more sense.”

“They’re going to be professionals.” Diggle declared. “Skilled fighters and proficient at weapons.”

“Brickwell’s guys definitely, and the three on Walter probably.” Oliver agreed. “But the other six are the counterfeiters, they might not be such a threat.”

“No way all six are engineers.” Diggle argued. “At least two are guards.”

Helena huffed in annoyance. “Let’s assume all twenty-one are armed and dangerous, and act accordingly.”

“Or.” Diggle said slowly. “We wait.”  He gave Oliver a considering look. “Brickwell only sends his guys in every three weeks. This is when the place is most heavily guarded. If we wait for them to take the shipment and leave, we go from twenty-one to nine.”

“No.” Felicity said harshly and silence fell in the van as she got up and turned to face them. “Walter is in there. We know it. We actually have a viable lead.” She glanced around at them and saw they weren’t convinced. “They move him every couple of weeks. For all we know they might move him again tomorrow.”

“I get it.” Oliver told her reassuringly. “But we’re talking about cutting down the amount of people in there by half.”

“Yeah, but we’re not.” Felicity said anxiously. “Brickwell may only send his people in every three weeks, but going by what I have now, he’s not the only one.”

Diggle frowned at her. “What are you talking about?”

Felicity waved at the screen. “The roster.” She explained. “There are always the six standard guys, and other people come and go collecting the art. I’d need more time to see if I can figure out if there’s a pattern to their schedule, but I skimmed it and it doesn’t look like there are ever less than ten guys in there.” She turned to Diggle. “And that’s not counting the three on Walter.”

“That’s still better than twenty-one.” Helena pointed out.

“Except we don’t know when that’ll be, or how long before someone else shows up. And we don’t know for how much longer they’re keeping Walter here either.” Felicity argued.  “Right now, we know what we’ll be facing. After this, anything is possible and we really would be going in blind.”

“We?” Helena scoffed. “I don’t see you going in there.”

“Okay, enough.” Oliver said, as he leveled a warning look at Helena. “The four of us can take on twenty guys.” He continued. “Walter’s been held prisoner long enough. We’re not leaving him there a day longer.”

Helena scowled. “You’re talking about going into a building that we have no confirmed floor plans for, to face a group of armed and likely highly trained professionals, who could be stationed pretty much anywhere inside the building.”

“Yes.” Oliver agreed. “But those people are there to guard the money. Walter is not their priority. They’ll probably assume we’re trying to steal from them.”

Diggle considered him. “That might actually help us.” He said. “If we can get everyone’s attention focused on us and the cash; Helena and Roy can get Walter out unnoticed.”

“Oh hey, so I’m not just guarding the courtyard then?” Roy exclaimed happily. “Let’s do this!”

Helena glared at them.  “Alright then,” she said icily. “Let’s go set their pile of fake money on fire.” She turned and stalked to the doors, jumping lightly out of the van.

Roy stared after her. “She just got kinda scary right there.” He muttered.

Diggle patted him on the shoulder. “You have no idea.” He said, as he directed him outside. He grabbed the box with the head-cams and ear-buds and then followed Roy out, leaving Felicity and Oliver alone in the van.

Felicity released a long breath and sagged back against the console.

Oliver grimaced slightly. “You alright?”

Felicity nodded shakily. “Thank you, for going in now.” She said. “It might be easier if we wait, I get that. But he’s so close and I just can’t stand,--” she broke off helplessly.

Oliver nodded. “I understand.” He said quietly. “Every day on the island was hell.  And if I could’ve gotten off there sooner, even just a day. I would’ve done anything.”

Felicity met his eyes. “You didn’t have anyone looking for you.” She said softly. “And all Walter had is me. I’m the only one that knew what he was doing.  And it’s been nineteen months and five days.” She balled her hands into fists in frustration. “He’s been alone all this time, thinking that no one was looking for him. That no one was coming. And I can’t even imagine what that feels like.” She shook her head. “I don’t want him to go through that any longer.”

Oliver stared at her for a long moment, something in his eyes she couldn’t decipher.  “You kept count.” He finally said quietly.

Felicity snorted indelicately, running her hands over her face, rubbing at her aching eyes. “I can’t stop.” She admitted.

Oliver jerked a nod. “After today you can.” He said. He managed a tight smile before he reached for his bow and quiver and left the van, slamming the doors securely shut behind him.

Felicity resumed her seat, turning the audio up on the ear-buds and switching on the head-cams.  Diggle and Helena were already wearing theirs and she quickly tagged their feeds with their names.

“So,” Roy said, as he secured his cam. “Is no one else wondering how we’re going to get past the electrified fence?”

Oliver’s cam clicked on. “I don’t think we need to be subtle.” He said as he inserted his ear-bud. “Felicity we online?”

Felicity put on her headset. “Cams and audio are up.” She declared.

“When you say ‘not subtle’.” Diggle said apprehensively, as they began to make their way to the complex.

“I’m thinking grenade.” Oliver said and Diggle groaned.

Felicity quickly scanned the directories on the internal network. “Guys.” She said. “I think I can turn off the fence from here.”

“Nice.” Diggle exclaimed. “What about the cameras?  Any luck getting eyes inside?”

“No.” Felicity said. “But I do have the external feed. I can loop that so they won’t see you guys coming.”

“What about the lasers and motion sensors and all that.” Roy reminded them.

Felicity shook her head, even though they couldn’t see her. “Probably on the same network as the internal cameras.  I don’t have access through this connection.”

“Well if we trip something in the courtyard and they don’t see it on the external cameras, they might think it’s just a stray cat or something.” Roy suggested.

“Unless they’ve got some of those twenty-one guys stationed as lookout.” Helena muttered darkly.

They made their way over to the complex in silence.  “Okay Felicity, any closer and we’ll be in range of the cameras.” Oliver said.

Felicity started the loop. “You’re clear on the external cameras.”

“Weapons check.” Oliver said as he glanced around. “Everyone good?”

At their affirming nods he turned back to face the building. “Roy, you take the west exit to the basement and wait for our signal to breach. Helena, take the back and the clear the top floors. Diggle and I are taking the basement from the main entrance.”

He touched his hand to the ear bud. “Felicity if you see anything on the external cameras, you can redirect Roy. We’ll improvise if we have to.”

Felicity nodded. “Got it. The fence is clear.”

Oliver gripped his bow. “Let’s go.”

Felicity bit her lip as she watched them make their way to the edge of the complex and quickly scale the fence. She kept her eye on the hacked feed, hoping they could make it inside unnoticed. Roy and Helena split off and made their way to their designated entry points, while Oliver and Diggle waited a moment at the fence.

The monitors came to life as an alarm blared and Felicity swore. “We’ve tripped a motion sensor!” she said.

Oliver and Diggle began to make their way to the front entrance. “Helena you in position?” Oliver asked.

“At the back entrance in ten seconds.” She replied.

“Diggle and I are coming in, we’re going to try and draw their fire.” Oliver said. “When they reveal their position take them out.”

“Understood; count it.”

“Breach in, five, four, three, two, ONE.” 

* * *

**_To be continued_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went over my self appointed word limit for this chapter and had to split it... so, this story will be probably be four chapters.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Walter is found and everything changes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I meant to have this up sooner. Unfortunately, real life just would not give me a break. I also struggled quite a bit with getting the tone right for this.

 

_“Breach in, five, four, three, two, ONE.”_

 

After that, things escalated quickly.  Felicity tried to keep count of the amount of people felled by Oliver’s arrows, and by Diggle and Helena’s rubber bullets, but it was chaos. And _dark_. They were going to have to invest in night vision cameras, she thought with annoyance.

While Helena took the stairs up to the upper floors, Oliver and Diggle made their way into the basement. They were confronted by a lot more people down there and she watched on the jerky camera feed as Oliver and Diggle ducked and ran as they returned fire.

“Roy, you’re up.” She instructed.

Roy kicked in the exit and quickly ran inside. “Starting search.” He declared.

“Upper levels clear, coming down.” Helena stated.

Felicity had to remind herself to breathe as she watched the four camera feeds. Diggle and Oliver had successfully concentrated the attention of the guards on them.  There were several pallets and crates with cash ready to go, and the guards seemed intent on defending it. Diggle and Oliver were fighting them off, while trying to get to the printing machine to get the money plates.

With the guards distracted, Roy was quickly scanning the sectioned off parts of the basement and Helena ducked in unnoticed to help.

 _'Please be there, please be there, please be there.’_ Felicity thought anxiously.

A dark figure stepped around a corner suddenly and Helena quickly lashed out, kicking him square in the stomach before punching him in the side of the head. 

Felicity gripped her headset as the guy went down like a stone. “Roy, two rows over and to your right.” She said shakily. 

Helena slunk around the corner and paused to take in the sectioned off room. Felicity leaned forward in her seat. The video feed showed the silhouettes of two other people, plus someone in a chair.

Roy came running around the corner and Helena gave him a nod. Together, they quickly burst inside and incapacitated the two men. Felicity anxiously waited for them to turn around and finally:

“Walter.”

Helena quickly stepped over to him and knelled down next to his chair. Felicity sucked in a breath. _He looked like hell._ His arms were secured to the armrests with zip ties. His clothes were filthy and torn. There were bruises in various stages of discoloration visible on his arms and face.

“We’ve got Walter.” Helena declared.

“Condition?” Oliver grunted over the coms.

Helena reached out to tap Walter’s face as Roy cut through the restrains. Walter blinked blearily at her, his eyes slowly focusing.

“Conscious and responsive.” She replied.  “Can you walk?” she asked Walter.

“Who are you?” he croaked.

Helena smirked. “I owed Oliver a favor.” She said. “Can you walk?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Oliver?”

Helena took his hand and she and Roy hauled him out of the chair, ducking under his arms to support him when he swayed. Helena touched her hand to her ear. “We’re on the move.” She said. “What’s your status?”

“Mostly clear.” Oliver panted. “Take the west exit, you’ll be in our line of sight if you take the front.”

“Understood.” Helena said. “This way.” She said to Walter, and they began to slowly make their way to stairs. “We could use a ride.” Helena said, as Walter struggled to walk.

“Coming up.” Felicity declared.  She quickly pushed out of her seat and stumbled to the front of the van, squeezing between the seats to get behind the wheel.  Over her headset she could hear the continued sounds of the fight as she started the van.

She drove around the corner and down the street towards the complex. She could see the chain link fence looming and spared a thought for the paint job of her beloved mobile command center before she gunned the accelerator.  She crashed through the fence and drove on, making a hard u-turn at the front entrance. There wasn’t enough room for the van along the side of the building, so she backed up as much as she could to the corner of the building. Leaving the engine running, she squeezed back through the seats, rushing to the back doors just as Oliver cursed violently.

“Helena, move!” he shouted.

She spared a glance at the video feed and saw that they’d put action to words and had set fire to the counterfeit money.  She threw open the doors and touched her headset.

“I’m at the side of the building.” She declared. She could see the door leading into the basement in the distance, a good 70 or 80 yards away.

She turned to look over her shoulder at the screen and winced as Diggle bodily tackled someone to the floor. Helena and Roy were almost at the stairs leading outside, but with the money burning it seemed like the remaining guards ( _five, six? Dammit they needed better cameras!_ ) had decided that was a lost cause and were focusing instead in trying to stop their escape.

Helena and Roy were making their way up the stairs with Walter, Diggle close behind as Oliver tried to slow the remaining guards down. She turned back in time to see Helena and Roy emerge through the open doorway in the distance, Walter leaning heavily between them.  But he was walking. He was up right and mobile and alive. _Come on!_

Felicity gripped the edge of the van tightly as they stumbled closer.  She wanted to jump out and help, but there really wasn’t anything she’d be able to do. They were moving as fast as Walter was able, and her hovering wouldn’t speed them up.  Feeling utterly useless, she moved back and yanked open the panel in the side of the van, pulling out their first aid kit.  Looking back over her shoulder at their progress, she blindly reached into the small nook again and grabbed the rubber mat by feel.

She unrolled it on the floor of the van and then slammed the panel closed, opening the one next to it to grab the blankets. She spread one out over the mat, hoping Walter would at least be a little comfortable and tossed the other one onto her chair.  She turned back and crept back to the doorway, peering out into the darkness.  Helena and Roy were still a good 20 or something yards away. Diggle had the plates and was jogging to catch up to them, and she could see Oliver exiting the basement in the distance.

Suddenly one of the boarded up windows in the side of the building seemed to simply explode.  Helena and Roy ducked instinctively and drew to a startled halt as two men jumped out of the window, landing a few feet in front of them. Before they could even react one of the men had raised a gun and fired two shots squarely into Walter’s chest.

It was _loud_.  The sound of the gunshots echoed in the night and made her ears ring. Felicity watched in horror as Walter jerked at the impact and then toppled backwards, dragging Roy down with him. Helena shook herself free and jumped forward as the other man rushed them.  Diggle was still running and managed to half catch, half break Walter’s fall with his body. 

A horrified scream tore itself free out of her throat. The man with the gun swung around in surprise and then she was facing him. Time stopped as she stared at him and he leveled his gun at her. Her hands gripped the edge of the van once more and she could feel it digging into her palm. They stared at each other and she felt rage and frustration build. She wanted to jump out and lash out at this man. Just hit him, hurt him in some way, yell at him.  Did he even know who Walter was? Did he even care? 

She’d never make it of course. He was too far away for her to tackle.  And he’d shoot her before she came close enough.  She should be scared, she should try and get out of his line of fire. Instead she clenched her jaw and shifted her weight, ready to spring.  He cocked the gun as a half-smile formed on his face.

And then he gave a wild jerk. Felicity blinked and there was an arrow protruding from his neck. His arm slumped down and then his legs crumpled. She watched him drop to the ground and stared down at his body impassively for a moment, breathing hard. _‘Good.’_  

She lifted her gaze and could see Oliver in the distance, his bow still raised.

Time reasserted itself as Helena grunted. She was still struggling with the other man, and she managed to break free enough to wedge her knee between them, kicking him back.  Helena was reaching for the gun strapped to her leg when another arrow whistled through the air, catching the man in the chest.  He gave a cry of pain and then a second arrow hit him. He went down.

Felicity turned back to Walter and her blood turned cold. Diggle and Roy were dragging him to his feet and she could see the blood staining his shirt from here. Helena rushed over to help and they half carried, half dragged him to the van.

As soon as they were close enough, Felicity reached out and grabbed Walter’s arm, pulling him up into the van. Diggle climbed in next to her and together they pulled him up onto the mat and blanket, as Roy and Helena pushed. 

“Roy,” Diggle panted, “you drive.”

Roy nodded and then quickly ducked around the open doors to make his way to the front, while Helena turned back and went to get the plates Diggle had dropped. Felicity glanced outside and could see Oliver was running to reach them.  But they had other priorities.

She snapped open the first aid kit and grabbed gloves and gauze pads as Diggle tore open Walter’s shirt. She tossed the gloves to Diggle, before opening the gauze and pressing the pads down onto the wounds on Walter’s chest. They were instantly soaked through with blood and she pressed down harder as Diggle pulled on his gloves.

“Behind you!” Helena yelled suddenly, and Felicity looked up in time to see Oliver half turn and send an arrow flying. The man who’d been exiting the basement in the distance went down with an unintelligible shout.

“Go!” Oliver ordered. 

Helena ducked around the side of the van and Oliver quickly pulled himself up, slamming the doors shut behind him. 

Felicity turned her attention back to Walter as Helena climbed into the front seat and Roy set the van in motion.  He was conscious, but barely. Diggle had more gauze ready and batted her hands away.

“Gloves.” He said tersely.

Felicity grabbed a pair of gloves as Oliver dropped his gear and settled down next to her. 

“How is he?” he asked Diggle.

“Shot twice in the chest at close range.” Diggle replied through gritted teeth. “Grab the blood.”

Felicity finished pulling on her gloves and then nearly toppled over as Roy took a hard turn, saved by Oliver reaching out quickly to steady her with a hand on her waist. 

“Roy! Unless we’re being followed, pull over!” Diggle snapped. “Felicity, hand.”

Felicity got her balance back and reached over to press down on one of the wounds. With his now free hand Diggle pointed into the bag Oliver had grabbed for the blood. “Side pocket, I need the morphine.” He instructed.

Felicity shifted so she could reach the first aid kit, tugging it closer so she could get the disinfectant and forceps.  Cold fingers encircled the wrist of the hand she had on Walter’s chest and startled she glanced down.

Walter had reached out and grabbed her hand and was slowly blinking up at her. “-Ffffelllissty?”

Felicity forced a smile as she leaned down. “Hey boss.” She managed to whisper, her voice hoarse. “It’s really good to see you.”

Walter struggled for a moment to speak, and coughed violently, blood staining his lips.  Felicity drew back in concern. “Guys.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Diggle said, as he plunged a syringe with morphine into Walters arm.

Oliver reached for the hand Walter had wrapped around Felicity’s wrist and pried it loose, clamping a pulse oximeter onto his finger.  The monitor behind Diggle beeped and lit up, and Diggle twisted to look at it.

Felicity grabbed another gauze pad and wiped away the blood dripping down Walter’s chin. “You’re gonna be okay.” She said, trying to sound confident. “We’ve done this before.”

Walter winced and turned away, coughing again. Felicity glanced up and caught the alarmed look that Diggle and Oliver exchanged, as Oliver handed over a bag of blood.

Walter turned back slowly and reached out weakly for her. Felicity caught his hand in hers and squeezed; his fingers were like _ice_ and that couldn’t be good. “Mmmooo,-.”  He struggled.

“Walter, don’t talk.” She pleaded.

He shook his head stubbornly. “--Mmmoira.” Walter rasped.  He gave her fingers a light squeeze that must’ve cost him most of his energy, and she gave in, leaning closer to try to make out what he was saying. 

“--Lin.” He whispered.

Felicity shook her head. “Walter please,-”

He gave her hand another determined squeeze as the sounds from the monitor increased. “Mare… Lin.”  He managed.  He caught her gaze as his breath faltered.  “Murr… lin.” He repeated.

Felicity nodded. “Okay.” She said desperately. 

She leaned back and caught the look on Diggle’s face. He was still pressing down on the wounds Walter’s chest, and Oliver had inserted the needle for the blood bag into Walter’s hand. But they weren’t doing anything else.

Felicity stared at him for a moment and felt her stomach drop. She turned to look at Oliver beside her and he had the same look on his face. Wary and resigned and no. Just _no._

“No.” she said harshly.

Diggle shook his head. “Felicity,-” he began quietly.

“We need forceps,” she interrupted him as she focused on Oliver, “and the disinfectant.”

Oliver’s brow drew together in sympathy. “Felicity,-- ”

Her monitor interrupted whatever he was about to say as it emitted a sharp tone. She glanced up with dread and stared at the screen. 

‘Patient is experiencing heart failure, commence CPR’, flashed across the screen. 

Walter’s hand in hers went limp and she turned back to him, shifting to get up on her knees. “Grab the AED.” She instructed hoarsely.

She placed her hands on Walter’s chest, feeling for the breast bone and then pressed down.  Blood seeped out of the wounds and in between Diggle’s fingers with every compression.

Oliver shifted, “Felicity.” he said softly. “There’s nothing else we can do.”

“You can get the AED.” She bit out.

Diggle sighed. “The bullet must’ve nicked an artery.” He said.

He slowly sat back, his hands stopping their pressure on Walter’s wounds.  Her next compression had blood seeping out from under the gauze and she faltered, blinking back tears as she hovered, her hands still pressed to Walter’s chest.

Oliver’s hands closed around her upper arms as he crouched down next to her. “Stop.” He said quietly. “He’s gone.”

Felicity drew her lower lip into her mouth, biting down hard. She tried to focus on that pain instead, as Oliver carefully tugged her back.  She sagged against the side of the van, swallowing down the tears.

Diggle reached out and removed the oximeter and silence abruptly filled the van. Felicity drew her knees up to her chest as Oliver hesitantly sat down next to her. Diggle shifted and reached out, gently closing Walter’s eyes.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He spoke into the silence. “Peace be with your soul.”

Felicity looked away from Walter and stared down at her hands.  Her gloves were stained red and she slowly peeled them off, dropping them next to her. Her hands were shaking and she balled them into fists where they rested on her knees. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. 

They’d stopped moving. She wasn’t sure when, but the van wasn’t moving except for the humming of the running motor.  Oliver was sitting next to her, pressed close to her side from hip to shoulder. She pressed her lips together. The silence was heavy, but for once she didn’t have the urge to speak. No desire to try and fill the empty space. Silence was fine. _Walter was gone._

A warm, calloused hand slowly closed over her clenched fist, engulfing her hand.  She sucked in a shuddering breath, opening her hand enough for him to grasp it properly. She felt strangely numb.  The emotion of a few moments ago was gone, leaving her feeling lethargic. Adrenaline crash probably.  She held onto Oliver’s hand, trying to somehow draw strength from that single connection.

Roy awkwardly cleared his throat from the front seat. “I’m really sorry you guys.” He said cautiously. “But what do we do now?”

Felicity slowly opened her eyes as she felt Oliver tense.  Diggle reached behind him to get the blanket she’d tossed onto her chair. How long ago was that? A few minutes?  He shook it open and carefully covered Walter with it. Felicity blinked as Walter disappeared from view.

From her periphery she could see Roy shift uncomfortably. She turned her head to look at them as Helena glowered at Roy. They were both twisted around in their seats, looking at them over the back of the front seat. 

Helena caught her looking at them and gave an apologetic shrug. “I have the money plates.” she said awkwardly.

“We can tip off the police.” Diggle said as he stiffly got to his feet. “Send them to the warehouse.”

“What about Walter?” Felicity asked dully.

Diggle and Oliver exchanged a guarded look. After a moment Oliver slumped. “It’s best if we leave him here, so the police can recover him.” He said reluctantly.

Felicity jerked her head sharply. “We can’t leave him alone.” She said. “Someone has to stay with, –the body.” She choked out.

Oliver squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Okay,” he said, “I will.”

“You can’t.” Felicity said and he tilted his head in confusion.

“You need to go home.” She explained quietly. “When the police come. You need to be home.”

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment. “Yeah.” He agreed gravely. “I should.”

Felicity looked away. She wasn’t the only one who had lost Walter tonight.

Diggle rubbed his forehead. “I’ll stay.” He said. “Helena, I’ll need to borrow your bike though to make it back.”

Helena nodded. “Of course.”

“And Oliver, I’ll need to borrow your hood. Might as well make sure they get a glimpse of me when you’re confirmed as being somewhere else.”  He continued.

Oliver nodded. “Good idea.” He agreed.

Oliver gave her hand a soft tug. “I need to make the call.” he said. 

Felicity nodded. He gave her hand a quick squeeze and then got up, opening the van doors and jumping out. The wind blew fresh air into the van and she breathed in deeply.  Diggle turned and settled into her chair in front of the screens.  After a few seconds she pushed herself to her feet and made her way to the doors, stepping outside.  Her legs were wobbly and she leaned back against the open doors, looking around.

She thought she recognized the parking lot they were in as one a few streets over from the apartment complex.  It was adjacent to a small library and there were a couple of reading benches placed in front of the building.  There were a few street lamps but it was out of direct view from the main road.

Out of view…  _Cameras_.

The thought hit her suddenly as she heard the van door open and slam closed. There could be traffic cameras or security cameras and here they were just standing around.

She spun around. “Diggle, cameras.” She exclaimed.

Diggle shook his head. “Not recording.” He said. “Probably just to dissuade people from vandalizing the building.”

She heaved a sigh of relief as Oliver returned. “I tipped off Detective Lance.” He said. “It’ll take him an hour to get here, but he’s probably going to send a unit that’s nearby, so we need to move.”

Helena and Roy came around the side of van and Oliver considered the parking lot. “The bench.” He decided. 

He turned back and grimaced. “Felicity, maybe you shouldn’t…” he trailed off.

She shook her head. “It’s fine.” She mumbled as she climbed back into the van.

Helena handed Roy the plates and then she and Oliver grasped the edges of the matt at Walter’s feet as she and Diggle did the same by Walter’s head. Carefully they moved Walter out of the van and then carried him across the parking lot over to a bench. They lowered him onto the bench and Diggle straightened the blanket covering him.  Oliver took the plates  from Roy and carefully tucked them under the blanket by Walter’s feet.

They stepped back and stood in a semi-circle, at a loss for words.

It was Helena who broke the silence, speaking softly:  
“O God our Father, Creator of all the living,  
we entrust to Your gentle care all those we love who have gone before us;  
and have gone to their rest in the hope of rising again.  
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,  
now and at the hour of our death.”

“Amen.” Diggle said quietly.

Oliver just held her hand.

 

* * *

 

**_To be continued_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I should just not try and predict how long this is going to be. When I outlined this, I thought three chapters. But this chapter was meant to be a single scene in chapter two, so who knows. I'm hoping I wrap this up in two more chapters. But, given how it's gone so far, it might be three... bear with me.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you kindly for the reviews, I really appreciate it. (Also the kudos!)  
> My apologies that this so late. This chapter was annoying, because it's important, but it's also the one thing standing in the way of the chapter I really want to write... I rewrote this like four times, trying to get the tone right, and frankly, at this point I just want to go to sleep.

The drive back to Starling City was spent practically silent. Oliver had turned the radio on at a low volume as he drove, eliminating the need for small talk. Helena was sitting in the front with him, while Roy had been forced to join her in the back. She’d heard Helena and Oliver have a short whispered conversation at one point. She couldn’t make out what they were saying and she hadn’t bothered to try, but it cut off abruptly and the tension was palpable.

She didn’t feel like talking. Roy had silently begun to collect all the discarded supplies and clear away the first aid kit. Felicity busied herself with collecting their head-cams and ear-buds and making sure that all their footage was saved and uploaded to their cloud. She’d have to sort it out later and synchronize all the footage. Her hack into the apartment’s system wasn’t active anymore, but she’d copied all the directories and she uploaded that as well. 

Diggle’s cam was still online as he waited on the roof of the library. He’d donned Oliver’s hood and the expected squad car had already arrived. They’d found Walter and the money plates and called it in, and now it was just waiting until Detective Lance and his people arrived. A second police unit had arrived and was keeping the apartment structure secure.  It would take hours before everything was processed.  She kept a wary eye on the footage until Diggle left, and then focused on her hack of the police frequency, listening in on their progress.

They made it back to the foundry in a little over an hour and Felicity made her way to the computers as the others went to change.  She settled into her chair as she glanced at her watch; it was a quarter to ten. Had it really only been a few hours? A few hours ago that she’d received Diggle’s call. A few hours ago that she’d been so hopeful. It felt like a lifetime ago now.

How quickly things changed. How quickly everything had fallen apart. Felicity rubbed at her forehead as she pulled the computer out of standby mode, entering the password.  Her screens reactivated and she was confronted with Danny Brickwell’s files.  All the files, directories, building plans and emails were still pulled up on her screens. 

She stared numbly at it for a moment. The thing that started it all. It was perhaps the last thing she wanted to see and she angrily minimized the windows to clear the screens. Shaking, she pushed the mouse away and placed her elbows on the desk, dropping her head into her hands and breathing hard.

They were supposed to bring Walter home. Get him out and bring him home. _One way or another._

“Felicity?”

Felicity took a fortifying breath and raised her head, turning to look over her shoulder at Oliver.  He was back in his civilian clothes and was looking at her with concern. “Do you want me to take you home?” he asked tentatively.

Felicity frowned. “I drove here.” She reminded him.

“Diggle can drop your car off later.” Oliver said.

Felicity sat back. “It’s not necessary.” She told him. “I need to go through the footage from the cams, and I have the directories from the computer in the apartment complex that need to be sorted. Plus we still don’t know who actually owns that place, so I still need to finish digging into that.”

Oliver was shaking his head as he stepped closer. “That can wait.” He said seriously. “It’s been a long day, you should go home.”

Felicity shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.” She said. “Diggle won’t be back for at least another forty minutes and he has Helena’s bike, which means that she’s stuck here. So, I can’t leave until he’s back anyway.”

Oliver frowned. “You don’t have to stay just for that.” He said. “If that’s what stopping you, I’ll wait until he gets back.”

“That’s not,-” Felicity faltered. “You need to get home.” She reminded him. “I just want to make sure that we have everything. That all the footage and the files are sorted. I need to get this done.”

Oliver’s face went carefully blank. “Of course.” He said quietly and Felicity stared up at him.

It had been a long time since he’d pulled back from her so obviously. Walked away in anger or irritation? Sure. Purposefully projected composure and certainty when things went pear-shaped to keep her calm? Definitely. But pulling back his thoughts and emotions behind the mask he wore for the rest of the world? That hadn’t happened in a long time.

She narrowed her eyes as she considered him. _She didn’t like it_.

Before she could call him on it, Roy returned from the back room in jeans, a sweatshirt and his hoodie.  “So,” he said to Oliver, “any chance you could drop me off at home?”

Oliver nodded at him over his shoulder. “Yeah, sure.”

Helena emerged from the back room as well, and made her way over to them. “Is there anything to eat in this place?” she asked.

Oliver pointed at the small kitchenette in the corner. “I think we’ve still got some food.” He said. “Diggle will be back in about 40 minutes with your bike, you okay to wait?”

Helena shrugged. “I can’t make it back tonight anyway.” She said.

Oliver considered her. “Do you have a place to stay?” he finally asked reluctantly.

Helena chuckled. “I’ll manage.” She said as she turned away.

Oliver shook his head in resignation and turned back to Felicity. “Are you gonna be okay alone here with her?” he asked skeptically.

Felicity smiled darkly. “I’ll grab a taser gun.” She said. “I think I’ll manage.”

Oliver winced as Roy perked up. “You know,” Roy began, “on second thought, I could stick around here a while longer.”

Oliver rolled his eyes, “Car, now.” He said pointedly.

Roy glared at him. “Seriously man, spread the wealth!” he turned and sulked off towards the stairs.

Felicity bit back a smile as they watched him go. Oliver scrubbed a hand through his hair as he looked at her hesitantly.  “I need to go.” He said regretfully.

Felicity nodded. “Do you want me to send Diggle over to your house when he’s done here?” she asked.

“No. He should go home.” Oliver sighed, “My family is going to need me. I don’t think I’ll be leaving the house much the next few days.”

Felicity nodded as the melancholy that had been so briefly chased away, returned. They were quiet for a moment before Oliver took a breath. “I’m sorry.” He said softly. “For the way this turned out.”  

Felicity blinked rapidly and forced the emotion down. “Me too.”

They stared at each other in strained silence again. Oliver looked away first, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Don’t stay here too late.” He said.

Felicity nodded slowly. “Goodnight Oliver.” She said quietly.

Oliver inclined his head. “Goodnight Felicity.”  He said, and then pivoted and made his way to the stairs.

She watched him take them two at a time and then he was gone, the door falling shut behind him. Felicity turned back to her computers and rolled her shoulders, wincing at the stiffness. She didn’t relish being stuck here with Helena, but the thought of going home was even less appealing. Besides, there was work to be done. Work was good, it required attention, focus.  Her mind couldn’t wander if she was working.

She logged onto their cloud and started a download of the files. It would take a few minutes and with a scowl she pulled up Brickwell’s files again.  She’d need to back these up and work on them at some other time.  She frowned as her eye caught something on the screen. _That couldn’t be right._   She quickly typed out a refresh command and waited. The information on the screen didn’t change.

Felicity felt the blood drain from her face and she clapped a hand over her mouth as emotion welled up.  She swallowed down the bile and blinked away the tears. _‘Stupid, stupid, STUPID.’_

“What’s wrong?”

Felicity whirled around to find that Helena had silently returned and was now standing behind her, holding a mug of tea.

Helena frowned at her distress. “What’s happened?” she asked.

Felicity shook her head and pressed her lips together. There was no way she was talking to Helena of all people about this.  She turned back to her screens and stared once again at the damning evidence.

Helena narrowed her eyes. “You’re upset.” She said as she stepped closer. “And Oliver will no doubt blame me. Which could turn out to be hazardous to my health.”

Felicity glanced at her as Helena took a sip of her tea. “He’s very protective of you.” Helena mused. “And Diggle is just waiting for a reason to shoot me.”

Felicity snorted. “He’d be better off shooting me.” She muttered.

Helena raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Felicity bit her lip. “I screwed up.” She admitted. “I missed it.”

Helena glanced at the screen and then back at her. “What did you miss?”

“Brickwell.” Felicity said. “I think he set us up.”

Helena set her mug down on the table. “I don’t follow.”

Felicity hesitated, but what did it matter. “Last night Oliver hit a guy on his list and when he went through the guy’s laptop he found email correspondence with Brickwell. The emails were about Walter, and implied that Brickwell had information on where Walter was being held.” she swallowed. “I got into Brickwell’s email, but there wasn’t enough time  to hack his files from the outside. So, I had Oliver upload my sledgehammer virus to his system.” 

At Helena’s look she waved her hands. “It’s basically a worm with a Trojan virus. Put simply, it implements a self-replicating, self-deleting subroutine that accesses all the drives connected to the system and uploads copies of all the files to a secure cloud through the Bluetooth or Wi-Fi connection.”

“Put simply.” Helena remarked drily.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Okay, the subroutine is the worm. It’s scanning the computer for files that are new or edited since the last time it scanned. Once it finds one, the Trojan is activated and uploads the file to the cloud.” She paused. “Got it?”

“Let’s pretend that I do.” Helena said. “What did you miss?”

“It’s not subtle.” Felicity explained. “I mean, the worm is, that’s virtually undetectable, but the Trojan is uploading files, so anyone with a decent firewall will know that there’s unauthorized access.”

Helena considered that. “So Brickwell knew that we’d gotten into his files.” She said.

Felicity nodded and Helena frowned. “But you knew that he would.”

“But I wasn’t paying attention. Once I got his files, I needed to decrypt them and I was only focused on that.” Felicity said desperately. She waved at the screen, “Nothing else has been uploaded. Not a single file has been accessed since the virus went active. He hasn’t logged onto his email, he didn’t even run a virus program or bother to purge his system.”

Helena tilted her head. “Which means what?” 

“That he’s smart. He knew his information was compromised and cut his losses.” Felicity said. “All our intell was useless.”

“But Walter was at the apartment structure, just like you thought he would be.” Helena pointed out.

“Yes. Along with twenty-one guys on high alert, because Brickwell told them someone could be coming.” Felicity dropped her head into her hands. “You guys walked right into a trap. They were waiting for you.”   

Helena raised an eyebrow. “Did you think that we didn’t consider that it could be?” She asked and Felicity raised her head to stare at her.

“What?” Felicity asked incredulously.

Helena shrugged. “You hacked his system, of course he knew we were coming, that’s why Oliver called in back up.” She leaned against the table. “What Brickwell didn’t know, is what our target was. He had a lot of files and a lot of places that the Hood might hit. If anything, going in tonight prevented him from adding extra security or moving Walter.”

“But it didn’t work.” Felicity said miserably. “We didn’t save Walter.”

“And what else could we have done?” Helena said. “This only proves that there really wasn’t time for anything else. They thought we were there for the money and we were almost at the van when Walter was shot. They were clearly under orders to kill him, rather than allow him to be rescued.” She shook her head. “That wouldn’t have changed, no matter what we did differently.”

Felicity turned away. “So you’re saying he was dead from the start.” She said flatly.

“Yes.” Helena said simply. “From the day he was taken. Nothing you did today changed that. He was just leverage. The chances of finding him and getting him out alive were always slim. Oliver should’ve told you that.”

Felicity stared at her hands. “He didn’t have to.” She whispered. _‘One way or another.’_

Helena gave her a considering look. “Don’t kill yourself second guessing.” She said quietly. “Don’t try and find something that you missed or should’ve done differently. In your head every scenario would have ended with Walter alive, but there’s no way to know. Don’t second guess the choices you made, you’ll just drive yourself crazy wondering.”

Felicity laughed humorlessly. “Too late.” She muttered and Helena gave a quiet snort of agreement.

Felicity glanced up at her and Helena met her gaze with a pained smile. “You can’t change what’s happened.” Helena said as she stood. “Just remember that you made the best choice you could, with the information you had.”

Felicity nodded and Helena walked away, moving over to the training area. How badly off was she, if Helena pitied her enough to comfort her?  Felicity turned back to her screens and took a breath. _Work, just focus on the work._ Helena was right, if she started to think about it she’d drive herself crazy.

They still didn’t know who owned the apartment complex, so she buckled down and began working on that again. She completely lost track of time and jumped when a door slammed closed. She looked up to see Diggle walking in and she rubbed at her bleary eyes. 

Diggle paused as he caught sight of her. “You’re still here?” he said in surprise.

“She’s keeping an eye on me.” Helena called, from where she was sitting reading a book on the couch. “Did you refill the tank?” she added.

Diggle rolled his eyes as he tossed her the keys to her motorcycle. “Yes, I did actually.” He answered.

He turned back to Felicity and regarded her critically. “You look exhausted.”

Felicity winced. “Thanks.” She muttered.

Helena chuckled. “Such a charmer.” She said, as she pulled on her jacket.

Diggle eyed her warily and she smirked. “It’s always a pleasure seeing you again.” Helena said. She turned to Felicity. “Good luck.” She said simply.

Felicity nodded. “You too.”

Diggle’s eyebrows rose, but he said nothing as Helena gathered her things and left. He waited until the door fell closed behind her before he glanced at Felicity. “You two bff’s now?” he asked.

Felicity snorted. “Not even a little.” She said. “We just reached an understanding.”

Diggle nodded. “And Oliver?” he asked.

Felicity sighed. “He went home.” She said. “But so far the police haven’t notified them yet. I’ve been checking the police chatter and they’re being discreet. No one has mentioned Walter’s name.”

Diggle scrubbed a hand over his head. “In case any reporters are listening in.” he said. “They’re probably waiting until the coroner has transported the body back to Starling City before notifying the family, in case they want to see him.”

Felicity nodded. “At this rate it’ll be the middle of the night.” She said quietly.

“Yeah.” Diggle agreed. He glanced at her. “You should go home.” He said gently. “There’s no reason you need to stay here much longer.”

Felicity shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

Diggle patted her on the shoulder. “I mind.” He said. “And so does Oliver.”

Felicity rolled her eyes. “He texted you, didn’t he.”

“No comment.” Diggle answered, as he waved her out of her chair. “But I’m not leaving until you do.”

Felicity stood up and slowly stretched the kinks out of her back. “Fine.” She muttered. 

Diggle grabbed her coat and held it up for her and she slipped her arms into it. She grabbed her bag and they made their way out in silence.  Diggle escorted her to her car and waited until she drove away like always.

Felicity sighed and turned on the radio, hating the silence in her car. She got home and closed the door behind her, locking it firmly.  ‘ _Now what?’_   Sleeping seemed utterly ridiculous, no matter how tired she was.  Her body might crave rest, but her mind wouldn’t shut up. There was no point in lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling.  But she didn’t want to sit listening to the police frequency all night either.  No good would come of that.

She sighed, movies it was then. It wouldn’t be the first time she pulled a ‘de-stress’ all-nighter.  She filled her water boiler for tea and then moved to her bedroom, stripping down for a shower.

Twenty minutes later she was changed into pajamas and steeping her tea. She looked through her DVD collection, looking for something brainless and fun. No thinking, no emotion, just mindless comedy.  And definitely no death.  She grabbed ‘How to train your dragon’ and popped it into her DVD player, before settling onto her couch. It was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

There was a knock on her office door and Felicity glanced up as Jake, her colleague in the IT department pushed it open. “Have you heard?” he whispered excitedly. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. 

Felicity sat back in resignation. “Heard what?”

Jake leaned over her desk. “There’s a rumor going around the building that they found Mr. Steele!”

Felicity took a breath. “Yeah.” She said quietly. “I’ve heard.”

It was _all_ she’d heard. She’d managed to fall asleep after all, waking in fits and starts on her couch. She’d managed maybe a collective four hours and by six am she’d given up, deciding to go into work early.  She still had the email mess for Legal to sort out and hadn’t managed to do anything with it the day before.

Morbid curiosity had her turning on the TV for the 7 am news, but no mention was made of Walter.  The same curiosity had led her to check the police reports.  There was a new flagged and sealed report and she’d hacked it quickly. Walter Steele was no longer a missing person case, but officially a kidnapping and homicide.  According to the report, the police commissioner had personally delivered the news to the Queen family at around 3 am that morning.

When she’d gotten to the office at seven thirty there was hardly anyone around. But by the time she went to get a coffee refill an hour later, people were already quietly talking about it. News leaked fast and traveled even faster. She’d closed her office door in an attempt to block it out.

Jake was looking at her expectantly over the expanse of her desk though, and it seemed that her solitude had come to an end. “What?” she asked wearily.

“Well, that’s good right?” he asked.

“Oh.” Felicity said with a hollow laugh. “You head the optimistic version.”

Jake frowned. “What does that mean?”

Felicity sighed. “Nothing.” She said. “Never mind.”

Jake hesitated. “You know Oliver Queen personally, right?” he asked.

Felicity narrowed her eyes. “Yes...”

Jake winced. “Well, I was just thinking,” he stopped at her dark look. “that I should probably get back to work.” He mumbled.

Felicity nodded. “Close the door.” She told him.

Jake nodded. “Sorry.” He muttered, as he retreated.

Felicity took a deep breath. She should feel bad about that. But she couldn’t muster up the energy.  Her computer beeped softly as a new email came in, and she froze as she glanced at it.  A companywide email had just been sent, with the subject line _‘We’re sure you’ve all heard the rumors’_.

She clicked it open and read it quickly.  The board of directors was emailing on behalf of the Queen family to let everyone know that Walter Steele had been found, but unfortunately, not alive. The email stated that the Queen family asked for privacy and time to deal with this tragedy.  There wouldn’t be a memorial service for employees, but everyone had today off to deal with this sudden news.  The funeral, when it was held, would be a private, family only affair.

Felicity sat back in her chair and pressed her lips together, swallowing hard. _It was really happening._ Somehow, up to now it had been both frighteningly real and detachedly not. It had been real last night, when Walter’s hand went limp in hers as the oximeter screamed. It had been real when they’d stood around his body on the bench, with Oliver holding tightly to her hand. It had been real this morning when she read it in the police report, and seen a time next to the ‘next of kin notified’ box. But reading the words now, and hearing the hush settle over the corridor, even through her closed door and the hum of servers and computers around her – now it was really _real_. Now it wasn’t just them, their little team, that knew. Now the world knew.  

She closed the email and went back to her work, willing her hands to stop shaking. Dimly it occurred to her that she hadn’t actually cried. And she wouldn’t, not here and not now. Everyone in Legal had lost their sent and received emails, but no other department had. It was a mystery and she was going to solve it. She tried not to think about Moira and Thea Queen, about Oliver having to be strong and support them. She focused on her task and ignored everything else, until hunger drove her out of her office two hours later.

The halls were deserted and the offices were dark. Felicity made her way to the break room and quickly made some sandwiches from the ever present fillings in the pantry.  Her phone was blinking when she got back to her office and when she glanced at the screen it showed a missed call from Diggle. She considered calling him back, but if it was urgent he would’ve left a voice mail.

She went back to work, absentmindedly munching on her lunch as she considered the screen. Queen Consolidated had been hacked, that much was obvious.  And it had been done by a pro, because their firewall and security hadn’t caught it. But why would someone hack them so proficiently and then only delete emails in one department. She’d done a full system scan and it didn’t look like anything else had been approached.  Not the Applied Sciences department, not Finance, not even their patents.

 _'I’m missing something. Again.’_ She scowled.

Her door opened abruptly and she started as a security guard poked his head around the corner.  “Oh.” He said in surprise as he saw her. “Miss Smoak, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” she said, recognizing him, “Uhm, Simon, right?”

He nodded, with a chuckle. “Yes, ma’am.” He agreed, and Felicity tried not to think about how much time she spent at work if she and the security guard knew each other’s names. “Did no one tell you that you have the day off?”

Felicity grimaced. “No, I’m aware.” She said. “I just wanted to finish up.”

Simon nodded. “Well, you’re one of the last ones.” He said. “There were a few people who had a video conference with Europe that couldn’t be postponed because of the time difference, but they just left. I’m just doing a sweep.”

Felicity tried a smile. “I shouldn’t be much longer.” She said.

Simon shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.” He assured her. “But I think you’re the only one on this floor, so keep your phone with you. And if you need me, just hit nine.”

Felicity nodded. “Thanks, Simon.” She said.

“No problem.” He gave a playful salute and then left.

Felicity sighed and turned back to her screen. Right; hack, Legal, weird. She determinedly focused on her work, putting everything else out of her mind. Her phone buzzed twice more and she ignored it. When she finally looked up again it was almost eight o’clock at night. She rubbed at her eyes and sat back. She wasn’t any closer to figuring out who had hacked in, but she did know how, and that virtual back door had been hammered shut. There was no way to retrieve the lost emails, so she’d made a report and sent it off to her supervisor. She needed to try and trace back the hacker, but she also really needed to pee.

As she stood in the ladies room washing her hands she glanced at herself in the mirror and winced. She looked like _hell_.  If Diggle or Oliver saw her looking like this they’d freak. The make-up she’d put on that morning could no longer hide the lack of sleep. And she hadn’t eaten enough and she was pale from low blood sugar. The last time she’d pulled an all-nighter at the foundry and worked through three  meals, Oliver had forcefully rolled her chair away from her desk, turned off her computers and escorted her home.  Even her protests that she was really close, and that she’d drunken a few smoothies and those had fruit and calories hadn’t helped.

Of course, Oliver had other people to take care of right now. And she was avoiding Diggle’s calls. She grimaced as she made her way back to her office. If Diggle was checking up on her and he couldn’t get through to her, he’d eventually tell Oliver. And Oliver had other things to deal with, he didn’t need to worry about her.

She typed out a quick message to Diggle. ‘Sorry to miss your calls, been working.’ She hesitated. Well, what else was there to say really?  It wasn’t like the Hood would be making an appearance in the next few days, Oliver had said so himself. And if they did need her, Diggle would leave a message or Oliver would call her himself.  She just didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. It required too much effort. She sent the message.

Felicity began to gather her things and shrugged on her coat. She was going to go home, and eat some dinner and watch a movie that didn’t require an IQ of any kind. And then she was going to try and sleep. She was certainly exhausted enough. She made her way to the elevator and rode it down, waving to Simon on her way out.

Home, dinner, movie, sleep. 

And then maybe she would be able to sit down and go through the head-cam footage. She would read the police report for the scene and look at the processed evidence. She would look into Danny Brickwell and see if she could figure out what he’d done after she’d hacked him. She’d try and figure out who owned that damn apartment complex. Because Helena was right; she shouldn’t second guess herself.

But that wasn’t what this was. She just needed to know. If she’d made a mistake, if she’d missed something, if they’d screwed up somehow – she needed to know.  Because Walter was dead. And she wanted, no, she _needed_ to know _why_.  She got to her car, checking her backseat out of habit before getting in. She gripped the steering wheel tightly for a moment.

Knowing why wouldn’t change anything and it wouldn’t make her feel better. But it would give Oliver something to go on. It would bring them one step closer to putting an end to this.  She started the car and backed out of her parking space.

Home, dinner, movie, sleep.  And then, back to work.

****

* * *

 

**_To be continued_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I ever mentioned that this is un-beta'd? Because it is. Any mistakes are mine. (It's also 00:30 am for me, so...)


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: Whoa. I am so sorry this took so long. So, knowing what you want to write and knowing how the story ends, doesn’t actually make it any easier to get it down on paper. I think the parts I deleted equal the length of this chapter. I basically rewrote this thing like four times. Ugh. 
> 
> A big ‘thank you’ to everyone who commented and who’ve been waiting so patiently for me to finish this. Hope it was worth the wait.

As exhausted as Felicity felt, once she was lying in bed sleep remained elusive.  Her brain wouldn’t shut up and she even tried some breathing techniques to breathe herself into a state of calm (which _didn’t_ work). A part of her really wanted to talk to Oliver.  On nights like these she could usually count on him to distract her.  If he needed to be at the club, they’d talk in the foundry underneath it. If he could sneak away they’d go to the diner, talking over burgers or shakes. 

Oliver wasn’t very good at comforting; his gruffness and awkwardness with emotion made him pretty terrible at it actually. But he was always sincere and willing to listen. Even though they sometimes found themselves on opposite ends of the moral scale, he always tried to see things from her perspective - even if it did require her yelling at him first.  And he found her rambling endearing rather than annoying, even months into this partnership.

Sometimes they didn’t talk much at all. Early on, it had become clear to her that Oliver communicated best with silence, with gestures and with his eyes.  And she’d learned to pay attention to that. She wasn’t good with silence though, but he never rebuked her when she called, no matter what the time.

Felicity had her phone in her hands before she’d even consciously made the decision to call him and she set it back on her night stand with a wince. Oliver had other people to take care of right now. She considered calling Diggle for a moment, guiltily remembering the missed calls. She dismissed the idea though and reached out once again to her nightstand. She turned on the instrumental music playlist on her iPod at a low volume and contemplated the ceiling, trying not to think about anything in particular.

_Walter’s hand squeezed hers weakly, cold even through her glove.  His eyes were glassy and unfocused and the blood stained his chin as he tried to speak._

_Walter’s hand went limp, dropping from her grip as her monitor screamed._

_Walter was laid out on the bench, his eyes frozen open and she reached out to tug the blanket up over his face._

_The wind whipping around her was cold and went right through her clothes. She wished she weren’t alone._

_Felicity turned around to head back to the van and she was facing a row of benches. Neatly lined up forming a path to the open back doors of the van._

_Diggle was laid out on the one closest to her.  Dressed as always in a tie and suit jacket, but his shirt was stained red with blood and his head was at a bad angle.  His arm was hanging limply off the side of the bench, his gun still grasped in his hand._

_Roy was laying on another bench, half propped up against the back rest like he’d slowly sagged downwards.  There was a needle in his arm and another jutting out from his neck.  His skin was pale and translucent and there was an expression of manic glee on his face._

_She stared at them in horror as her feet seemed to keep moving of their own accord, up to the next bench where Helena was lying. She was face down on the bench, her hair obscuring her face, but the bullet holes in her back were easy enough to make out. Her hands were stained red, blood slowly dripping from her fingers._

_The van was right in front of her and all Felicity wanted was to run and climb inside. Away from all this horror and death. But there was one more bench and she walked up to it, stumbling as she caught sight of the person lying on it._

_It was Oliver. She’d known it had to be, that it couldn’t be any one else. Black arrows had been shot into his chest and his eyes were frozen open, his expression contorted into a grimace of pain. He was dressed in jeans and a sweater that had once been green but was now stained brown with dried blood. His bow was nowhere in sight – he’d never stood a chance._

_Everyone was dead._

_She was crying. Hot, angry tears rolled down her face as she stared at her team, lined up neatly on their benches. Dead and gone. She’d failed them all._

_No.  Please no._

“NO!”

Felicity woke with the sheets twisted around her legs and torso, a hand reaching out to nothing and a scream dying on her lips. She was shaking and sweating and her face was wet.  She pushed away the covers and pulled her knees up to her chest, burying her head in her arms as she tried to breathe and calm her pounding heart.

It wasn’t real. They weren’t dead. Oliver was fine. Diggle and Roy were fine. Helena was alive and kicking. Walter… Walter they’d lost.  
Felicity swallowed, scrubbing at her eyes.  That part was real. She glanced at her alarm clock and squinted at the red numbers. Well, six thirty was as good a time a to be getting up as any, she thought as she slid out of bed.

At work she once again closed her office door and tried to block out the world. Walter’s death was all anyone could talk about and she had no interest in hearing the speculation.  It was almost one o’clock in the afternoon and she’d been munching on a sandwich when there was a knock on her door and her supervisor poked his head inside.

“Ah, Felicity,” he said as he stepped fully inside, “I read your report. Any progress on tracking the hack?”

Felicity sat up straighter. “Nothing yet.” She admitted. “They were very good.”

Tim cocked his head, “That report came in pretty late though. Were you here all day yesterday?”

Felicity fidgeted uncomfortably. “Just trying to get to the bottom of things.”

Tim nodded. “Well, how about you take the rest of today off then?” he suggested. “You can swap the hours for yesterday.”

Felicity shook her head. “That’s not necessary.” She assured him.

“Not a request.” Tim answered almost apologetically. “You look a little ragged. I don’t want my best employee getting sick because she can’t take a break.”

Felicity scowled. “I’m fine.” She insisted.

Tim frowned at her. “Take the day.” He said sternly. “In fact take tomorrow too and make it a long weekend. I don’t want to see you until Monday.”

Felicity stared up at him. “You’re kicking me out?” she said incredulously.

“No,” Tim answered, “I’m giving you some well-deserved down time.” His eyebrows rose. “Let’s face it, I could send you home for a week and it wouldn’t make a dent in the overtime you’ve got saved up.” He pointed at her. “Go home.”

With that, he turned around and exited her office, leaving Felicity silently fuming. This was absolutely ridiculous. Tim had never complained about the hours she made before. She was the best person on his team and he knew it.  Sending her home was so out of character that she seriously considered going after him for a moment.  Voices carried close to her door then and she stilled, waiting to see if someone needed IT-support.  She heaved a relieved sigh as they passed her by.

On the other hand, it wasn’t like she actually _wanted_ to be here right now.

With that thought Felicity shut down her computer and gathered her things, gladly leaving the gossiping office behind. When she arrived home she dumped her stuff on the table and then stood there indecisively for a long moment.

_Now what?_

She’d planned to distract herself with work but that was impossible now. She was _not_ ready to go through the police report of their mission and she couldn’t continue her research into anything related to it from here. There was a strict ‘keep compromising activities confined to the foundry’ rule. Hacking the police department from her home computer was on the fence, but anything more was just reckless.  But she needed to do something. Sitting still and letting her thoughts run wild was not an option.

Out of alternatives, Felicity changed into her rattiest set of clothes, turned up her ‘kicking ass’ playlist to loud and began meticulously cleaning her apartment.  She vacuumed the carpet, scrubbed the bathroom and the kitchen, cleaned out her fridge and cupboards, and then sat down to reorganize her bookshelves. And she had _a lot_ of books.  

The whole thing took up most of her afternoon and by seven pm her apartment was spotless.  Felicity ordered food from her favorite Chinese place and then took a quick shower.  She ate dinner at her kitchen table, staring out of the window as the sky slowly turned dark.  And then there really was no more procrastination possible.

She sat down behind her computer and reactivated her hack into the Starling City police department. There were several new files and she tried to figure out which would be the least painful. The report on the findings at the apartment structure were in and she opened that first.  It was pretty basic, the police had been able to discern that money counterfeiting had been taking place there, and the fake art stored on the upper levels had also been recovered.  There were also transcripts of the interviews with some of the goons they’d arrested.

Felicity opened those and read through them quickly, hoping someone had said something about their employer.  Only four interviews had been held so far and they only mentioned Brickwell as their boss. Disappointed, she returned to the directory and stared at Walter’s file.  _‘Like a band aid’_ she thought to herself _‘just rip it off’_.

She opened the file.

The coroner’s report was clinical and precise.  Somehow that made it easier to read.  She could pretend it was just another report on another body, not someone she knew.  Walter had died from edema, or blood pooling in the lungs as a result of his gunshot wound. There was evidence of physical assault, his ribs had taken a beating at some point, and his knee had been dislocated and badly reset. He’d been malnourished, they’d fed him only just enough to keep him alive.  The skin around his wrists and ankles was chafed raw from repeatedly being tied down.

Felicity closed the report and swallowed hard.  He’d gone through hell and it had taken them _over a year_ to get him out.  There was a link to another transcript and she clicked it open.  She sat up straighter as she began to read.  They’d interviewed one of the guys that had been guarding Walter and she skimmed the information quickly. It was unfortunately nothing they didn’t already know. Walter was moved regularly, kept under constant guard and they had been under orders to kill him rather than allow him to escape.  He didn’t have any idea who his employer was though.  He’d only ever seen him once and he’d been wearing a mask, black body armor from head to toe and wielding a bow and black arrows.

Felicity’s hands went clammy on her keyboard.  It wasn’t a surprise to find that the Archer was somehow involved in this. Their goon didn’t know if he was the mastermind or the muscle though and that was unfortunate. Because it was the question that had plagued them as well. Not that it really mattered in the grand scheme of things - he needed to be stopped either way. But they didn’t have any idea who he was and so far each time that Oliver had faced off against him, it hadn’t gone well.  He’d made it out alive, but then again, so had the Archer.  And usually considerably less injured than Oliver.

There was a reference at the bottom of the transcript and she clicked the link.  It led back to the coroner’s page and two autopsy reports.  Felicity stared at the page and then returned to the transcript, reading the reference properly. 

‘Suspect was one of three subjects tasked with guarding W. Steele. For other two subjects see here.’

Felicity felt her stomach drop. _The two men who’d jumped out of the window_. The men who’d killed Walter.  She went back to the coroner’s page and quickly typed in Walter’s case number.  There were four autopsy reports cross-referenced to that case. Walter’s and three others. The three guys Oliver had killed.  She’d seen them go down. One of them had been standing right in front of her.  She’d known it had happened, but with everything to do with Walter she hadn’t really thought about it. Until now.  Three men were dead. _And her only thought at the time had been ‘good’._

Felicity pushed away from her computer and got to her feet, stumbling to the bathroom.   She felt like she was going to throw up. When did this happen? When did she become this person? At what point did she stop caring when people died right in front of her?  He’d killed Walter and Oliver had killed him and they were better than that. Better than vengeance and retaliation and an eye for an eye.  _She_ was better than that. That was what she did in this team. She was the conscience.

Felicity opened the faucet and wet a washcloth under the cold tap, running it over her face. _I used to be the conscience._  She could hear her cellphone ringing in the kitchen but she didn’t make a move. _Now what?_ She peered into the mirror above the sink.  When Oliver finally found the Archer he would kill him. Just like when Diggle finally found Deadshot.  These were not people that would go the jail, that would stand trial. There was no arresting men like these and hoping the system would do its work.  And she had accepted that. There was no talking them out of it and frankly, she wasn’t sure prison could hold men like that.

She’d started making allowances a long time ago. There was a reason Oliver didn’t want to be called ‘hero’. Heroes didn’t kill people. He was a vigilante. She was helping a vigilante. Every person he killed was on her as well.  And that mattered.  She’d always felt guilty, always been uneasy about that.  But not this time.  This time was different.  These guys hadn’t been like Deadshot or like the Archer. They hadn’t been exceptionally well trained and deadly. They could’ve gone to jail.  This wasn’t a ‘they have to be killed because it’s the only way to stop them’ kind of scenario.  This was vengeance. And she was okay with that.

Felicity slowly straightened.  It was time to add another notch to the list.  Things had changed. _She_ had changed.  She sat down behind her desk once again and opened the bottom drawer, pulling out her list. The list of casualties.  She stared at it for a long time.  Three more lines needed to be added. And for the first time, she didn’t care.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Felicity entered the foundry armed with supplies.  She’d stopped by the 7-eleven and bought a variety of snacks. Terrible and unhealthy, but they’d keep her going. She’d stared at the list for hours before she’d had the strength to pick up a pen.  And since she was banned from going into work tomorrow, she might as well continue working here. It was passed midnight now and with the club open upstairs she had to use the side entrance, but it meant a shorter walk to her computer stations.  The foundry itself was empty, but she hadn’t expected any different. 

Oliver was at home with his family and Diggle was probably with Carly.  That was fine though. Felicity settled down in front of her screens and turned on her computers.  A part of her wanted to continue looking into the apartment structure or Danny Brickwell, but she knew she couldn’t put it off any longer.  Brickwell was a dead end and the apartment structure would most likely be owned by a shell company.  She’d have to sort it out eventually, but the police were onto Brickwell thanks to the raid and the apartment structure wasn’t going anywhere.  She needed to go through the head-cam footage.

There probably wouldn’t be much that was useful on the footage from the fight, but Walter had tried to tell her something in the van.  He might have said something important at some other point and she needed to go through everything from the moment Helena and Roy rescued him.  Felicity took a fortifying breath as she pulled up Roy and Helena’s footage.  The video itself was shaky and dark, but she really only needed the audio.  She took out her headphones and plugged them in to the computer, and then started the recording, closing her eyes to focus.

The sound was decent especially when she turned up the volume, but it didn’t seem like Walter was saying anything.  It was mostly panting and pained groans as they made their way out of the basement. She was so focused on listening for anything that the gunshots were a surprise and she jerked off the headphones on reflex.  She closed her eyes and took a breath, willing her hands to stop shaking.  This was going to _suck_.

An hour later Felicity had isolated two distinct parts of the audio.  The first was a short conversation between Helena and Walter as they were trying to exit the basement, where Walter had tried to ask her to explain how Oliver was involved.   The second was in the van when Walter had been trying to talk to her. She had both Diggle and Oliver’s audio up and was trying to clean up the feeds to get the best version when her screen showed an alert.  
Someone had just entered the security code for the door.

Felicity blinked at it in confusion and then looked at the time in the bottom of her screen. It was 2:36 am.  Who was coming in at this ungodly hour?

She leaned back in her chair as footsteps pounded down the stairs.  The steps faltered and then continued and a moment later Oliver came into view.  He stared at her in obvious surprise.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Working.” She said, waving at her screen. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to get out of the house.” Oliver admitted. “Thought I’d work out for a while.”

Felicity nodded. “How’s your family?” she asked hesitantly as she swung around in her chair to face him properly.

“Devastated.” Oliver answered as he shrugged off his coat.  He stared at her for a long moment and Felicity frowned.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I’m just surprised to see you.” He said as he leaned against the table behind her desk.

“I know it’s late,” Felicity said, “but I couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d make myself useful.” Oliver nodded, but his face was still pensive. “I haven’t really gotten very far.” Felicity continued.  “I’ve been going through the audio from that night and I’m trying to figure out who owns that building to see if that’ll get us anything. It’s gonna take time.”

Oliver hesitated. “That’s not a problem.” He finally said, but his shoulders were tense.

Felicity regarded him critically. “Okay, what’s going on?” she asked. “You’re acting weird. Do you want to be alone for a while, because I can leave?”

“No!” Oliver said quickly and Felicity stilled, staring at him in surprise.  “I’m just,--”  Oliver winced. “We’ve been calling.” he said quietly. “Diggle’s been trying to get a hold of you and you don’t answer.”

Felicity guiltily bit her lip. “I’m sorry.” She said.

Oliver shook his head. “No, don’t,” he said, “you made it clear when you joined the team that you were only here until we found Walter.” He shrugged helplessly. “We did.” 

“Yeah,” Felicity said, staring at her hands, “right.” 

“Not exactly the ending we were hoping for.” Oliver sighed. “So, I guess I just didn’t think I’d see you here again.” He said. “I thought you wanted out. That you were done.”

Felicity shook her head. “No.” she said quietly as she glanced at him. “Oliver the days of me leaving after we found Walter are long gone.” She admitted. “We are far passed the time where I could walk away from this.” 

Oliver met her eyes. “So you’re staying?” he asked. _And God, did he actually sound hopeful? No, of course not. Anxious. He sounded anxious._ “Or are you just trying to tie up loose ends and close Walter’s case?”

“Like you said, Oliver - we’re a team.” Felicity said. “And how can I go back to my life knowing what I know? This is bigger than Walter, bigger even than your father’s list. There are people trying to destroy the city and they don’t care who they take down in the process. I won’t let you face that alone.”

Oliver nodded and some of the tension finally drained out of him. “I’m sorry about not picking up when Diggle called, I didn’t think that you would assume…” she licked her lips. “I just needed some time…” 

“Away from us.” Oliver finished.

“No.” Felicity shook her head. “It’s not like that.” She struggled for a moment, trying to put it all into words.  Oliver waited her out and finally she had to admit it out loud.

“I failed.”

Oliver stared at her in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“Walter.” Felicity said. “I read the autopsy report.” She swallowed down her emotion. “They basically tortured him. And he never gave me up. He trusted that I would do something, that I’d get him help somehow. And I didn’t. Nineteen months and now he’s gone.”

Oliver stepped forward. “That isn’t your fault.”

“I’m the only one that knew what he was doing.” Felicity said harshly. “I’m the only one that knew why they took him.  He counted on me and I failed.” 

Oliver crouched down next to her chair and covered her hands with his. “You didn’t fail.  You have been looking for him for months. We did everything we could to get him out alive.”

“But we didn’t.” Felicity said.

“No.” Oliver agreed.  “I’m sorry.”

“He didn’t stand a chance. I know that.” Felicity whispered. “From the minute he was abducted it was over.  But we save so many people.  We’ve beaten the odds so many times. I just wanted this to be one of them.”

Oliver squeezed her hand lightly. “Me too.” He said. “But that isn’t your fault.”

Felicity met his eyes and he gave her a small smile. “He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.” Oliver said.

Felicity nodded and Oliver leaned back a little, taking in her expression.  She wasn’t sure what he could see in her eyes, but he frowned at her in concern. “What else is bothering you?” he asked gently.

Felicity froze. “Nothing.” She said. “I’m alright.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes. “Which is why you’re here, instead of at home sleeping.” He said.

“You’re here.” Felicity countered.

“I never said I was alright.”  Oliver replied.  They stared at each other and Felicity looked away first, staring down at their hands. She didn’t want to talk about this. She _wasn’t_ going to talk about it. 

Felicity flinched and got to her feet. “I’m gonna make some more tea.” She said.

“Hey.” Oliver’s hand on her arm stopped her before she’d taken more than two steps. He stepped up behind her, close enough that she could almost feel the heat radiating from his body. He ducked his head, “Talk to me.” He said softly.

Felicity stared at the floor, trying to keep herself in check. “I’ll be fine.”

“Yes.” Oliver agreed. “But you’re not yet, and that’s okay.” He stepped around her and she resolutely fixed her gaze on his chest, avoiding his eyes.  He grasped her other arm and then slowly rubbed his hands up and down her arms.  “You’re cold.”

Felicity shook her head. “No.”

“You’re shaking.” He pointed out and she was.  _Dammit._

Felicity pressed her lips together.  He had been taking care of his mom and sister for the past few days and had come here to get away from that, to have a moment to himself. She’d already unloaded on him about Walter and that was more than enough. He carried so much guilt around.  She didn’t want to add to it. Just because he could carry the weight of the city, didn’t mean he should.

“Felicity?” Oliver said softly.

“I just want some tea.” She mumbled.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He insisted.

Felicity swallowed. _God, how would she even begin to explain? Everything. Everything was wrong._

Oliver took a breath. “If this is too much,” he said quietly, “if you need to leave, then I won’t stop you. I promise I won’t ask you to stay.” He cleared his throat as his voice cracked. “I won’t ask for your help anymore, I won’t drag you back into this. You deserve to have your life back.”

Felicity gave a watery snort. “We are so far beyond that.” She said quietly.  
Felicity finally looked up at him. “I’m not that person anymore.” She told him. “I haven’t been for a while. The things we do, the things I’ve seen.  There’s a line, Oliver.  And I crossed it about a mile back.”

Oliver frowned at her in confusion as his hands fell away. “What do you mean?”

“You killed three people the other night. And I didn’t care.” Felicity said. “It used to matter to me. And it should. People’s lives matter, they’re important.  We don’t get to decide.  But they killed Walter and I just didn’t care anymore.  They’re dead and I didn’t feel anything. So, there’s no going back now.”

Oliver looked stricken. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too. But it’s not your fault.”

“I got you into this.” Oliver said.

“And I chose to stay.  I could’ve walked away at any time. I could walk away right now, but I’m not going to.” Felicity said. “I’m staying because I might not be as good a person as I once was, but the things we do _are_ good. Just because we’re not heroes, doesn’t mean we’re not the good guys.”

Oliver faltered. “I’m better thanks to you.” He said. “A better person and a better friend… just, better.” He flinched. “And I don’t want that to be at your expense. I don’t want to be the thing that drags you down.”

“You’re not.” Felicity said. “I like that I make you better.  I like knowing that what I do matters, that we’re helping people. I knew there was going to be a price to pay. I knew there was a cost and I accepted that.” She resisted a shudder. “It just hit home today, that’s all.” She added quietly.

Oliver cupped her cheek and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “I’m sorry.” He whispered,  “I never wanted any of this for you.”

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut. “My choice.” She said fiercely. “I am a part of this team. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Oliver’s thumb swept across her cheek, wiping away tears she was desperately trying to hold back. “Okay.” He said quietly.

Felicity leaned forward until her forehead rested against his chest. She hadn’t cried. For three days she’d kept it all in and she was _exhausted_.  Oliver wrapped his arms around her and she could feel him press another kiss to the top of her head. And for the first time in days she felt like things might actually turn out alright again. 

Felicity fisted her hands into his shirt and let the tears go. She cried for Walter. She cried for herself.  She cried for all the people that were dead because of a stupid list. She cried for Oliver.  She cried all her fear and worry and guilt out. She cried until there were no more tears.

And then she wiped her eyes and sat down on their old worn couch and blew her nose on Oliver’s handkerchief.  And by the time Oliver joined her with two mugs of tea she had put herself together again.  They sat side by side, drinking their tea in silence.  It wasn’t awkward or silence. Just companionable silence between two people who don’t need words to communicate.

Felicity started when Oliver carefully removed her cup from her slack fingers. She blinked, trying to focus, but he gently pressed her shoulder down onto the couch. “Shhh, go back to sleep.” He whispered.

Felicity reached out drowsily until she snagged the sleeve of his shirt and tugged. “You too.” She mumbled.

Oliver chuckled and a moment later he settled down next to her, wedged between her and the back of the couch. “Fine.”

“Might kick you.” Felicity mumbled as Oliver tugged a blanket up over their legs. 

Oliver huffed a short laugh against her neck. “I will shove you off this couch if you do.”

“I will blow up your computers.” Felicity threatened sleepily.

Oliver draped an arm around her waist. “Sleep.” He whispered.

Felicity entwined her fingers with his. “Kay.” She murmured. 

In the morning she’d finish going through the audio files.  Well, _later_ in the morning anyway. And she’d look into the apartment complex’s mysterious owner. And she’d tell Oliver about the Archer’s involvement. And they’d keep looking and keep on trying and keep on fighting.  And they’d win some battles and sometimes they’d lose. 

But for that moment, for the first time in three days… she and Oliver slept.

 

**_The End._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several people have asked me if Felicity was in love with Walter… Oh my God, NO!  
> I didn’t think the story read like that, but since I got the question from different people, apparently I did something wrong. What I was trying to portray (and hopefully explained in this chapter) was Felicity’s guilt. She feels responsible for what happened to Walter and for not being able to find him sooner.  
> Oliver’s reaction to her was because he thought that once they found Walter, she was leaving. When he realized she’d been keeping count of the months and weeks he thought she wanted out. 
> 
> I actually have an interlude from Oliver’s point of view half written… that should explain some of what’s going on through his head. No idea when and if that’ll be posted. I need to start writing my thesis… but I do my best work when I’m procrastinating on my actual work, so who knows! (There’s also an entire part two of this universe, but let’s not get into that.)
> 
> Thank you all kindly for reading and commenting and the kudos and waiting. ^__^


End file.
